yeah

Lately, I have noticed I am looking at life in a very different way. I feel like there are changes happening all around me. I am not moving, getting married, or having a child, but there are changes happening in my heart that I can't ignore.

~I am daily letting go of my wants and wishes and holding tightly onto Christ's.
~I am letting go my agenda or plans for certain situations and allowing God to blow me away with His presence.
~I am truly giving up the stresses of the big cost to Africa and allowing God to bless me and provide.

My heart is changing and people are noticing, which is weird. Last night in church a few people talked to me about how they have seen beauty in me. Not an outward, vain type of beauty, but a beauty that only comes from falling in love with the Father. A good friend of mine said, "you are exploding". I asked her to elaborate, since I really wasn't sure what she meant. She said, that for so long I closed off what God wanted to do and did my own version of it and now I turned on the "faucet" and let God over flow.

I thought that was a great picture. She was right for so long, I did what I thought God wanted me to do and filled my agenda with stuff. I guess what it comes down to is I am done trying to impress people. I am done trying to prove to people I am not the "immature" one that they once saw.

My heart is breaking for the things of Christ and I can't hold back anymore. I grieve with those who grieve. I rejoice with those who rejoice. I want to see the hurting children of this world find safe homes to live in, where they are loved and cared for. I want to enjoy every breath God blesses me with and not leave a conversation, even if it is a disagreement, in anger or malice.

I guess it all comes do to 2 things...
~I feel safe when I worship and crave it everyday.
~I am done with the desires of this world and focusing on Heaven. I want to bring more people with me when I go.